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The love I lost last night

Two days ago we celebrated our seven months together. It was such a bliss. I would like to think that you were also happy and excited to celebrate with me. I even wrote a post for you here to greet and surprised you. That post I also deleted last night coz last night, I lost you.

I never thought it will happen that quick. I have made up my mind to spend many months and years with you. I think I am ready. But last night I found out something that really hurts me.

I never doubted your love. I gave you all my trust, everything that I can give to make you feel my love. I know and I feel that a part of you loved me too. There were just some things that I can not live with and accept and that is you continue to lie to me. I forgive you, in fact I am not angry. I can't find even a tiny bit of anger in my heart because I understand you. For the last time I will understand and forgive you.

Today is the first day that I won't call you in the morning to wake you up. Everyday you wake up with my calls and my kiss. I will definitely miss that. I will surely miss you and your presence. Seven months is not too long but I feel like I've been so close to you. I thought I already know you but I was wrong. I wanted to get to know you more, in a deeper level but I don't think I will still have a chance. Our relationship us not perfect. There were many times that we argue but we always try to find a way to make it work. But I think this time will be different. I wish we could go back to how it was before. When I'm loving you without a doubt and worries. Now I can't give the same kind of love, the same amount of trust.

I will still remember the moments we spend together. We still have good memories, you know and many of those made me smile. Some would still make me smile today even if I feel hurt. I want to love you longer. I don't want to lose this feelings for you. I also don't want you to lose your feelings for me but it's different now. In just a few hours everything is different. Today I wake-up feeling different because I lost you last night.

I think I already accepted that we are no longer together now and all I have to do is move on and try to forget you. I think I won't forget you but my feelings won't be the same. I will still remember you from time to time. I hope a part of you will remember me too.

Thank you for the love that you've shown me. You gave me so much love everyday and I will forever be thankful for showing me that part of you. I want to remember you as a loving, thoughtful, understanding, honest and patient guy because thats what you were to me. I just wanted to remember the good things. I will forget all the bad because I forgive you.

I have loved you for who you are, whether good or bad. I am really happy to be with you. I hope one day I will remember you and I won't be hurt anymore. I hope one day your memories will only bring smiles on my face. I like how you love me and how you made me feel but last night I lost you.













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