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Showing posts from 2018

This is How I Love You

I don't believe in second chances before. I always have the heart to forgive someone, no matter how painful it is but I would never look back. Because it was never easy to start all over again. I thought it is dreadful. Somehow, with you I always listen to what I really feel. I look beyond your mistakes and imperfections, I see things that makes me realize why I stayed. I look on how you changed my life in positive ways. I may look stupid and martyr but this is how I love you. And this is why I am choosing you, always. It is you who I always want to be with. I always find your company amazing. You make me happy in ways that no one else does. You always have something in you that makes me want to stay. It's been eight months but I'm as excited as I was when you first told me you love me. It is you who make me look forward in every single day. You are the reason why I’m in love in every possible ways. You make my heart beat every seconds, I feel pain when you're not a

This is how you love me Perfectly

They say that the person you argue with a lot is the same person that you really love and can't live without. At first I was hesitant to believe this until I had my first argument with you. I thought that that argument will be the first and the last. But as we continue in this relationship we found out that we are two imperfect persons loving each other perfectly. Everyday spend together feels so amazing. We make each other feel so much love and care that we haven't felt before. Everyday feels so perfect and we don't want the day to end. Everyday has 24 hours but we want to spend 25 hours together...everyday. There was a time when we were not fine for two weeks or more. We almost break up and leave each other but you never let go of my hand. You hold on in each hurting words I say. You hold on with every drop of tears in your eyes. You hold on with all our doubts and worries for our relationship. You hold on even if you are not sure if it's still worth it. Most impo

The Why's in my head

There are many days and nights that I would keep on thinking why I'm still keeping this feelings? Why Am I still fighting for this love even if I know that there's no future between us? Why do I keep on hurting even if I don't want to care and be hurt? Why do I keep on thinking and make myself worried and stressed? Why do I keep on loving even if I don't want to? My life is so different from yours. We even have a very big age gap. We live in different parts of the world, we have different culture, we have different religions, we eat different foods, we were born and raised differently but at some point my heart feels you. My heart longs for you and wanted no one but you. My heart beats for you everyday but no one would know because my feelings for you is hidden.  I want to believe that what I am feeling now is for real but my mind keeps on telling me to stop because my heart is already in so much pain and my mind can't trust anymore. I want to keep on fighting for

The love I lost last night

Two days ago we celebrated our seven months together. It was such a bliss. I would like to think that you were also happy and excited to celebrate with me. I even wrote a post for you here to greet and surprised you. That post I also deleted last night coz last night, I lost you. I never thought it will happen that quick. I have made up my mind to spend many months and years with you. I think I am ready. But last night I found out something that really hurts me. I never doubted your love. I gave you all my trust, everything that I can give to make you feel my love. I know and I feel that a part of you loved me too. There were just some things that I can not live with and accept and that is you continue to lie to me. I forgive you, in fact I am not angry. I can't find even a tiny bit of anger in my heart because I understand you. For the last time I will understand and forgive you. Today is the first day that I won't call you in the morning to wake you up. Everyday you wak